Why You Should Use People’s Preferred Pronouns
A Short Explanation Even Republicans Can Understand
Let’s start with a hypothetical.
Imagine someone — let’s call them Esmeralda — has just informed their family that they are non-binary and would like to be addressed with the pronouns “they/them” moving forward.
Unfortunately, there’s an uncle in the family who is resistant to the idea. Let’s call him Uncle Richard.
Uncle Richard tells Esmeralda that she is female, that she’s always been female, and that everyone in the family agrees that she is female. Thus, he concludes, he will continue to address them with the pronouns “she/her” despite their stated preference.
Here’s how I think Esmeralda should respond:
“Uncle Richard, from now on, I shall address you as ‘dickhead.’ Are you okay with that?”
“No,” says Uncle Richard. “You may not call me dickhead. I’m not a dickhead.”
“Actually,” says Esmeralda, “you are a dickhead. In fact, you’ve always been a dickhead. And everyone in the family agrees that you are a dickhead. Thus, I will address you as ‘dickhead.’”
“But I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks,” replies Uncle Richard. “I prefer being called Richard.”
Aaaaand scene.
The takeaway, of course, is that regardless of your own personal beliefs (or grammatical misgivings), calling people what they want to be called is always the most respectful option.
To do otherwise is to risk acting like…a dickhead.
Thanks for reading,
-Erik (he/him)
