Member-only story
Eating Dystopia
(A Short Story I Wrote in 2018)
If you pinched your nose and blocked your ears and were somehow able to switch off all of your nerve endings and taste buds, it would be easy to imagine Dystopia as a post-modern pop-up on a Williamsburg street corner. One that tilted toward the shabbier side of shabby chic.
For some, the flipped-over milk crate seats and concrete slab tables, which patrons must arrange themselves, may feel a tad blasé. For others, the barrel fires — so many barrel fires — may seem over-the-top. Desperate, even. But trust me: As your evening progresses, you’ll be glad those fires are there. In addition to providing a soothing ambiance, perfect for date night, their stinking green flames will help illuminate your perimeter.
Founded by a loose collective of self-taught butchers who were forced to adapt to a changing biosphere and develop new methods of acquiring sustenance in order to ensure the survival of the human race (I’m sure you’re all familiar with the story), Dystopia is a new-age eatery steeped in old-world traditions. Whether you’re celebrating a birthday, going on a blind date, participating in a ritual sacrifice, or simply grabbing drinks with friends after a hard day’s scavenging, Dystopia can accommodate you. Its diverse and ever-evolving menu offers a panacea of foods, fluids, and other edible items that will be…
